I've had Angel down here since Sunday evening, which has been difficult due to Mum's prediliction for imposing arbitrary rules on her. In Mum's world, children should be ordered and controlled, which clashes somewhat with Angel's free spirit.



Yesterday Mum came up for her shower (we're sharing one bathroom again, this time it's mine) in a foul mood, and snapped at Angel for saying "Morning" rather than "Good morning"... this continued pretty much until I decided I wasn't going to take any more, so I spent most of the day outside, finishing off the lawn raking and cutting a new edge on the outside bed. It was gorgeous weather, perfect for gardening, and I was in my T-shirt.



I couldn't help thinking that Mum's irrational anger must be a cause of my depression. I'm pretty sure she was like that when I was a kid - whether it was because she suffered from migraines or whether it's a hormone thing - but one of the causes of depression mentioned in "Malignant Sadness" is the idea of learned helplessness. If a child finds that whatever they do, the parent still punishes them, then the child learns to give up trying to do anything.



Anyway, Juanita, William and Freddie pitched up later, as Juanita was going around to help clear out Aunty Angela's house. It was good to see Will, he's a "stand-up guy" as the americans would say. Little Freddie is cute and of course Angel wanted to hold and play with him.



Today however, I have no energy whatsoever. Spent most of the morning in bed, and am still in my dressing gown at 2pm. Mum seems to be more relaxed today, and has gone out to do some shopping. I tried taking some licquorice extract but my energy levels didn't budge. Seems weird that I should feel so lethargic after two days of hard exercise, which only reinforces my impression that exercise really isn't good for one. Not, at least, this one.